Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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