He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
