I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
