im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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