Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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