PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
