Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
