my mouth tastes like poor choices
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
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I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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