Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
