i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
