yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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