I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
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Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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