And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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