The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
