a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
