If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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