I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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