It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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