She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
