and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize