yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
