The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize