Quick, to the slutcave!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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