Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
