My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
