Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize