I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
