Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
