Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
