Have you finally orgasmed yet?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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