That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
even my farts smell like vagina
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
