Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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