As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
