Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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(423): View more from Tennessee

no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.

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(509): View more from Washington

Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?

(1-920): View more from Wisconsin

Yes and yes

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(760): View more from California

My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW

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(256): View more from Alabama

Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.

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(310): View more from California

What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?

(1-310): View more from California

I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that

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