I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
