Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it glows. i had to have it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
