Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
