You're completely useless in the revolution.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
