"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
