No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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