I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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