what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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