Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
