Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
my liver is dry heaving
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
