My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize