I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
