Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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