i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I could fuck to npr.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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