rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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