you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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