i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
this hospital has no fireball
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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