we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
