I wanna bring you to show and tell
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
