just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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