She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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