This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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