well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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