i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
